Learn How to Get Child Custody
A healthy relationship with your child/children is what the judge is looking for here. Coming home from work, heating up food in the microwave for the kids and jumping on the computer for the rest of the night while the kids do their homework alone and put themselves to bed would get you a very poor score.
Take the kids to church, temple or mosque. Know your kids teachers. Get on the PTA at school if you can. If time is a factor, try to get on the PTA mailing list. Try if you can to volunteer at daycare or school.. Help with homework and class projects. Know your childrens friends. (Friends parents if you can.) Is your child involved in after school activities? Attend the games, meets or rally’s and again try to volunteer in some capacity if you can. Know your pediatrician. Bottom line, know what is in the best interest of the child by know what is going on in your childrens lives.
Children and clothes are clean. Children are eating a well balanced diet. (No one loses their children for hitting McDonald’s occasionally). Your home has hot and cold running water. Bathrooms are operation. Heat works in the winter. Children have their own bedroom. (Not the pull out couch in the living room) Your children are up to date on their immunizations. In times of extreme illness, the children receive medical attention. The children visit a dentist regularly. You should have an operational telephone in the house. If you do not have these things due to finances, you can get them. Visit your local Department of Health and Human Services they also work for the best interest of the child. You can get help with food, utility bills, and medical assistance for the children and vouchers for daycare. Do not dismiss the Dollar Store or the Thrift Store. You will not be looked down upon for using public services. You will be showing the judge that you have the best interest of the child in mind.
Do not move from house to house, apartment to apartment. The children need stability. Moving your residence repeatedly means new schools, new friends, new neighbors and a new community. This is not stable. No undesirables living in the house. (And yes, depending on the relative, even relatives can be undesirables).
If you and your ex or soon-to-be ex have not split up yet, keep the children with you. The question is, which parent have the children been living with primarily since the break-up. Not up-rooting the child is a big factor in determining what is the best interest of the child.
Do not put inflammatory pictures or writing of yourself on the Internet. Stay out of non-support type chat rooms and forums on the Internet. Do not run around town partying it up with strange men/women while your children are with a baby sitter, neighbor or relative. If you drink or do drugs, STOP. Not only stop but also get yourself to AA or NA. Be an upstanding member of your community. (Hence, no skeletons in the closet.)
Have you required treatment at a mental facility? If so why? How many times? Be prepared to answer these questions with plausible answers. Physically are you well? Sickly? Terminable?
The behavior of the kids is critical. Good grades. No problems in the neighborhood. No running with the wrong crowd. If you have seen, questionable behaviors, get your child/children to therapy. Do not wait until your ex’s attorney says the children’s grades are falling and you let them run wild.
The child does not always get to choose. Judges are perceptive enough to notice when a child is playing one parent against the other or when one parent is using questionable tactics to get a child to tell the judge he/she would rather live with that parent. Remember the judge is looking for what is the best interest of the child.
No trash talk about the ex. If this were easy, many children in the world would not be emotionally scarred after a bitter break-up between parents. Bite your tongue, leave the room, and take a time out. Divorce is about YOUR marriage breaking up. It has nothing to do with your children and you need to make sure they understand that.
Do not hit. (Get it?!) Do not let yourself be hit. This applies to verbal abuse as well. Domestic violence whether from you, or to you is unacceptable.
(l) Any other factor considered by the court to be relevant to a particular child custody
After going through my own bitter divorce and nightmare custody battle I came out with many scars and much information. Most importantly, many attorneys fail to help their clients deal with effective strategies, because they are more psychological than legal strategies, which in most cases they are not, trained to either recognize or deal with them.
To see the exact list of criteria judges use visit my blog.
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